Over The Weekend Thoughts

#1) Andy Carroll might be the ugliest person on grass since the Elephant Man took a trip to the park, but it would not surprise me to see him score 20 goals and Newcastle to finish very comfortably out of the relegation zone. The opening Manchester United game was an unquestionable trap, but Carroll had moments (including an opening header I thought he would easily convert), and the hat trick against Villa might not be a fluke. He absolutely roars down the field with abandon like a damn Viking, and is big enough to already be a major problem for EPL defenders. Newcastle will be very, very good at St. James Park considering they were a championship team. Carroll deserves a look from Fabio Capello, as Heskey and Crouch should be brushed aside for Carroll and Bobby Zamora. But, more than likely, Carroll will then be sold to a bigger club next year for $20 million, get hurt, stop scoring, and turn into the next version of Andy Johnson.

NO NOT THAT ONE STUPID!

#2) Fucking Everton. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Bolton and Wolves?! 1 point!? Why do I even bother paying attention anymore, the season for the Toffees never begins until December anyway. *Update* But we’re even with Liverpool! Mwahaha suck it Reds!

#3) Eric Lichaj was pretty solid for 90 minutes for Aston Villa in their Europa League match. And they didn’t give up 6. Daniel Williams is a German-American who is starting to get time with SC Freiburg. Yura Movsisyan, who jumped over to Randers FC in Denmark, has scored 9 goals in 19 matches so far, yet he recently declared he’s going to play for Armenia. And still, we have no decision on Bob Bradley, as the USMNT gets shellacked by Brazil and has made no move regarding their direction. Just sayin’.

#4) Why was Nani taking that spot kick? That one still doesn’t make sense to me. I know he’s pretty good from the spot and from free kicks, but entering as a substitute and taking a penalty in the same half? I just would have figured Ferguson would trust Scholes, or even let Chicharito take it, as he’s got a powerful leg. By the way, pat yourself on the back if you thought the two best players for United so far this season would be Scholes and Dimitar Berbatov. Without a true attacking midfielder, Berbatov plays his Ibrahimovic like role with a ton of confidence right now. He kept trying to get Hernandez a goal in the Newcastle game, had a great volley and very smart pass to Scholes at Fulham this weekend.

When did the poor man's Ibrahimovic...

...leave Zlatan as the poor man's Berbatov?

#5) I wish soccer had a small element of American sports that would absolutely liven things up; “blockbuster” trades. Sure, there are some player exchanges, but they’re exceptionally rare in comparison to the US, and obviously most owners would rather take the money and pay off their own debts or club wages. This would hopefully be another cool side effect of fixing the financial portion of the game; if teams were not always having to pay off excessive and unmanageable loans, they wouldn’t worry so much about transfer fees (probably unlikely, but if I were a team’s “transfer guru” I’d do crap like this all the time).

Here’s one mega deal that involves a series of players all thought to be very much on the move.

Barcelona acquire:

Javier Mascherano (from Liverpool)

Cash considerations (from AC Milan)

AC Milan acquire:

Zlatan Ibrahimovic (from Barcelona)

Emiliano Insua (from Liverpoool)

Liverpool acquire:

Mathieu Flamini

Klaas Jan-Huntelaar (from AC Milan)

–and Barcelona turn around and replace Ibra by purchasing Luis Suarez (Ajax), with a prospect moving that way or a charitable loan deal.

This works for EVERYONE (I swear)! Barca get Masch, and Suarez as a replacement for Ibra, since Villa-Bojan leaves them thin. Not to mention Suarez is a great player, contributing fine passing in addition to his goals. David Villa can now move inside, and Suarez will play on either wing effectively. Milan get Ibra, who bumps Borriello down the pecking order, and gives Milan a player they consider (I know not all of you do, but it’s their opinion, remember) good enough to get them back a Scudetto. In addition, Liverpool sends over Insua, who they were ready to offload to Fiorentina for cheap. Milan give him a shot in a rotation with Jankulovski and Papastathopoulos, a young left-sided player where they are old and in need of fresh legs. And I don’t think I’ve slighted Liverpool in the least with this deal. Flamini moves back to the EPL where he was more successful, and is surely a bet to get significant time with just Lucas and Poulsen in the center midfield. They also get to pair Hogdson with the Zamora-like Huntelaar, who gives him a more proven and experienced striker than David N’Gog, and a nice tall presence to hopefully give Fernando Torres a breather from abuse.

There are plenty of deals like this and teams just don’t operate that way. There are obvious reasons, such as the need to place money in scouting and youth programs (how do you think Porto and Benfica keep reloading?), along with stadium expansions and other operating costs. But American professional teams do it all the time. If you could hook a nice prospect for an aging veteran, realizing you need to reload for the future, would you do it? On either side? Does the uncertainty of the prospect outweigh the likelihood you could add a piece to a championship team? Lots of questions.

#6) It’s so nice to see Messi and Xavi playing together again. There’s a reason neither of them played to 100% potential in the World Cup. They absolutely protect each other from the brunt of a brutish defensive midfield. Messi gets to run around and no one can catch him, it’s like watching cats to try to paw a bird out of it’s cage. And Xavi gets his perfect safety valve on the right, someone he is clearly more comfortable with than any other Spaniard (noting that Iniesta is on the left). His threaded through ball was so good it defies superlatives; consider that Messi didn’t touch the ball until he had to shoot. Xavi put a ball into the box so well Messi didn’t even need to control it. Good God. They were down 3-1 to Sevilla after the first leg, and in the second I’ve seen three-legged zebras put up better fights against a lion…

Just put your own music on, I can’t help these people.

*Update* Here’s some Liverpool jokes I’ve gleaned off of facebook. I’m bored and not working so what the hey:

I tried drinking from a liverpool fc mug yesterday, but it was impossible.
It kept sliding down the table.

What’s the similarity between a £1 note and liverpool fc?
Neither have been any use in England for decades, and both are fucking useless in Europe!!

Liverpool FC have just signed two new strikers, bert and ernie…. so they can play with the rest of the fuckin muppets!!